Choice A or Choice B?

Wondering how to start this and what to say.. thinking I should be drinking a good single malt right now, but alas.. that is upstairs! LOL

So the last couple days have been odd, starting to feel back to normal as I have been recovering from the surgery. Yet still tire out from the oddest things and just want to have a sit and rest. On top of that has just been the waiting to talk to Dr. Heyer (Oncologist). It has been difficult just trying to function normally with that hanging over my head. Nothing much going on, just dealing with work and then hanging out with the family the last couple evenings. Marnie and I had a good date night on Tuesday with a nice quiet dinner and drinks at a local Irish pub.

Today started off at 2:30am when I awoke and couldn’t get back to sleep, my mind was racing with everything going on. So I headed down to the trusty recliner, so that Marnie could get some sleep with out me disturbing her. We got the girls up and went to Donuts with Dad at their school; this is a monthly event that encourages parents to be involved with the children’s learning, in math, reading and other areas. This morning’s topic was Geometry, but it was below the girl’s level, so they were more interested in the Donuts! LOL

First appointment of the day was with Dr. Lialas (Urologist), he was pleased with the progress and recovery from the surgery and we talked about the possibilities after we are done with Chemotherapy. He was very upbeat and encouraging. Then upstairs to finally see Dr. Heyer, were there early and ended up waiting A LONG TIME! LOL While waiting, saw our neighbor who is recovery from lung cancer who, has been receiving treatment at the same practice and they really like the staff and Dr’s, so a very encouraging recommendation.

Dr. Heyer came in and it was good, he was just like we had heard, very personable, knowledgeable and he treated us both well. He talked at a level that was right for both Marnie and then we would get technical together. Never felt like he was pushing his own agenda, rather he took the time to listen to our thoughts, answer our questions and concerns. Must have sat there talking for over an hour as we discussed the two possible regime’s for treating this cancer. He never pushed one over the other, as both are highly effective, rather he just gave impartial pros and cons of each one, so that we could make an informed decision.

So here’s the real meat of the post, after talking to him and talking with Marnie, Dr. Heyer doesn’t want to wait, but rather be a bit aggressive as we don’t know the doubling time of this secondary tumor. After going over things, due to the size and type of tumor the protocol is Chemotherapy at this point. Based on our talking decided to go with a 3 cycle (9 weeks) regime of 3 drugs called BEP (Bleomycin, Etoposide, Cisplatin) This is opposed to a 4 cycle (12 week) regime of EP (Etoposide, Cisplatin). Not only is the BEP a shorter time, but the longer one is on Cisplatin, the more chance of other side effects, as it’s a cumulative risk the longer you take the drug.

With BEP, the Bleomycin will have some impact on lung function, so the worst case here is that I may never be able to SCUBA dive again. But that’s the worst case, and because of the shorter time taking Cisplatin, less chance of having permanent nerve damage that affects my hearing and touch. So that’s the route we chose after looking at the pro’s and con’s of each treatment.

They are going to install a port in my chest to administer the drugs, draw blood from and give me IV fluids, so that they aren’t constantly sticking my arm. Also this will minimize the possibility of veins being burned out by the drugs and me looking like junkie with track marks! Will be having the port inserted sub cutaneously (under the skin) next week. Then I will be starting the first round of Chemotherapy on Monday March 9th. This means I get Etoposide and Cisplatin Mon-Friday of week 1, while I will be getting Bleomycin every Tuesday for 3 weeks straight. Then have weeks 2 and 3 to recover (aside from the Bleo every Tuesday). That is a cycle and I get to repeat it back to back 3 times. So 9 weeks of fun with some nasty poisons coursing through my body.

The hope is that this kills any metastases as well as the 6 cm secondary tumor. Ideally it should shrink the tumor to nothing, but if there is anything left after the 9 weeks they will go in and surgically remove any remnants at that time. This will be determined by a CT scan upon completion of the 3 cycles of chemo and by blood work monitoring the tumor markes.

So that’s about the jist of things, while it’s good to be getting going, and know the plan. It’s also hard, because the plan means for the next 2 months I’m going to be rather miserable. I will lose my hair, however Dr. Heyer said that they now use a family of anti-nausea meds to help stimulate the appetite and shouldn’t see significant weight loss. Also will have significant fatigue from the drugs, and that will be most prevalent during the first 10 days of each 21 day cycle. So enjoy it while it lasts! Will be sure to take plenty of photo’s and capture the moments.

Had a good sit down this evening with the girls and we talked, Ashley and Shannon both seemed to be doing well with things, Marnie too! They asked some questions and like that I was going to be bald (well Ashley did ..hhehehe) It was good to see that they weren’t scared, Shannon gets it and understand a lot, think she’s holding back more than she’s saying, but we’ll see as things progress. My mother is going to be coming out for the first 2 cycles of chemo, so that will really help Marnie as she wasn’t sure how she was going to make it through the first cycle! My younger sister was already planning to visit in early April for Spring Break, so she’ll be here too to lend a hand were needed.

It’s a lot for me to take in, absorb and deal with. Good to know that we’re moving forward expeditiously to eradicate those traitors! But have to say, not looking forward to being poisoned and all the side effects that come with that. But on the other hand, looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel when the cancer is gone and I’m baaaaaccccckkkkkk!!