Test Results

Well Wednesday (Feb 11th) was test day. Having gotten my Chest X-ray on Tuesday also picked up the 2 bottles of barium for the CT scans. Course I slept like crap Tuesday night and was up at 3am Wednesday morning never made it back to sleep that day. Couldn't eat for 6 hours prior to my tests and then 2 hours prior had to start drinking the barium contrast (foulest stuff known to man, blech!) in preparation for the 2:30pm CT Abdomen & Pelvis (w & w/o contrast). So get over to the radiology place, drink half of the second bottle, getting ready to head in and then they finally read my paperwork and see that I'm allergic to Benadryl. Well that threw them for a loop, as Benadryl is what they use if someone has an allergic reaction to the CT contrast! They were scared I might have a problem (why I don't know.. told them I'm not allergic to the contrast!), anyways they decided that I should have the CT done at the hospital. At which point I got a bit irate, having already drunk 1 ½ bottles of foulness, was not going to have that be wasted! To make a long story short, we had to drive down to Fairfax Hospital to have the CT done. A couple paper work loopholes to jump through, great techs and a long walk from/back to the parking garage later and it was all done. Got home exhausted from not eating, and all the walking/use of energy and I was wiped out. Some food and I crashed hard. Think I actually slept in our bed that night for the first time since the surgery.

Thursday morning (Feb 12th) and feeling much better after a good 10 hours sleep and going to make it into work today for a little bit. That went well, was good to get out of the house, be functional and feels like I was a little productive even! Cleaned out my inbox, got a few messages answered and even attended a meeting, before I was running down, so made it almost 4 hours before I came home, crashed out for a while and then was awoken by the phone ringing. It was Clearview Elementary calling and we needed to come pick up Shannon, cause she had a fever. So off I go down to school to collect my daughter, get her home and take her temp 104.5.. NICE! Well let's just say that Thursday afternoon didn't turn out how I envisioned and spent the time managing her fever with ice packs, Motrin and lots of TLC. That evening a friend brought us dinner which was REALLY NICE, because I was exhausted and Marnie was now being the TLC for Shannon. Moved back to the recliner that evening, as Shannon and Marnie fell asleep in our bed upstairs. I didn't want to take the chance of Shannon rolling/moving her sleep and hitting my incision site on the left, so back downstairs to my trusty chair. Kept waking up every couple hours and didn't sleep soundly.

Well now we are getting to the good stuff, you had to read all the catch up to get to Friday (Feb 13th). Scheduled to see the urologist (Dr. Lailas, whom Marnie and I both really like a lot!) at 2pm. So stayed home in the morning for a bit with Shannon who is feeling like normal now! Then off to work for a farewell lunch with one of my guys who was leaving, didn't want to miss sending him off, and an All Hands meeting for our division, that my boss had asked me attend in person if possible. All is good, being at the office went better than the day before and swung by the house, picked up Marnie (she came home early, so that Shannon wasn't home alone) and off we go to see Dr. Lailas. Took over an hour before we finally see him (turns out his staff had been calling the wrong place to get the pathology report! Duoh!) I think I finally fell asleep curled up on the exam table..hehehehe He finally comes in and likes the way the incision is healing, we talk about the pain in my left abdomen/pelvis from his removal of the spermatic cord and moving things around.

Things are light hearted and then they took a more somber note, when he said I have good, bad, and bad news. The good news is that pathology report showed that the tumor in my testicle was indeed a seminoma. First bit of bad news was that I had two types of cancer. Not only was it a seminoma, but it was mixed with a teratoma, with some necrosis noted in the pathology report. As an aside, the ultrasound showed that there were actually 2 mass in my testicle, one was 3 x 1.9 x 2 cm and the other was 1.7 x 1.5 x 2 cm, of this seminoma/teratoma mixed cancer. The other interesting thing to note here is that the blood work showed only elevated levels of the tumor markers LDH, the levels of AFP (alpha fetal protein) and hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) were both normal. This usually is indicative of just a seminoma, with other types of testicular cancers they usually see increased levels of AFP and hCG, well just goes to show you I'm not normal.. but heck most of you already knew that!

Now the final bit of bad news has been the hardest one to digest and still trying to process all the implications. The CT scan showed that the cancer had indeed metasized to my abdomen. There is a 6 cm mass. The cancer has traveled up the lymphatic system to its favorite site and has grown there in the retroperitoneal space between my left kidney and aorta. At this point, that was the only mass seen, there was no infiltration to other abdominal organs or the lungs. Right now I'm classified as Stage IIC (this is due to the size of the metasized mass). The survival rate for this is like 95-98%



So what does all this mean? Well it means that I had something for a bit longer than I thought! LOL as well it means that I get to endure the joys of chemo therapy. Right now I have to heal up from the surgery, and then I see the oncologist on Feb 26th. It is then that I find out what the plan of attack is to kill those renegades who have infested my body, as well as what form of chemical warfare will be used, and all the lovely side effects. More on this topic after I see the oncologist in a couple weeks.

Must admit that I feel like crap right now, what had started off seeming so positive, has definitely taken an unexpected turn. Am still trying to process things mentally and damn if it's not kicking my ass at times. I know now, which has helped with the fears of the unknown that were plaguing me before, but damn.. didn't want to know this!! Not going to let this change me from the optimistic person I am, but just taking longer than usual for me to deal with this and that's killing me. The other aspect is that I feel so out of control, I can't do much at this point and so much is in the hands of others. Those that know me know how I thrive on being in control, and having that control.

Ok, so that's the latest and some of you are going, Holy Crap!, others are probably a bit shell shocked, and some are going f'ing cancer and let's nuke that tumor. Well trust me when I say I that I've already been and continue to go through that range of thoughts/emotions.

How can you help? Well keep the thoughts and prayers coming, those are very welcomed, much appreciated and valued. So many of you have called, written and offered to help in any way, and truly wish that I could take everyone of you up on your offers! Right now I think the best help is going to be keeping the girls busy with play dates/sleep over's. And then when the chemo starts, I'm sure some meals on wheels would help out Marnie so she does not have to figure out what to make for dinner every night (usually my job! LOL). For me right now, helping Marnie and the girls is going to be the biggest help for me. I worry about how this going to affect them. At times I'm scared of failing them, being that 2% and leaving them. I know that I have to take things day by day, but damn my mind is going a mile/minute, analyzing this angle, that angle, what are the possibilities of this/that, effects, etc. and everything is a bit over whelming right now.

So trying to sort it all out, devise a strategy, fix some milestones and then execute to perfection!